I wrote in my previous blog that I avoid conflict. That's not entirely true. What I avoid is confrontation. Recently a parent of one of my students told my boss that she had concerns about her child's levels in my class. My boss empathised but ultimately told her she needed to discuss her concerns with me. She was reluctant to make that move so my boss asked me to set up a meeting with her. It took me a week to do this (avoidance) but we did meet and discuss her concerns. What I discovered was that she was that her concern was not really about her child's progress but more with the fact that he is in a combined class with two different age groups and how that will affect him next year. The conflict was in relation to this concern.
One strategy that I used to manage this meeting was empathetic listening. I tried very hard to listen to her concerns without letting my feelings that she was attacking me come to the surface. I heard her concern about what will happen next year and how the three classes seem to have different levels. I tried to reassure her about each child developing at their own pace. I explained that every class has a range of ability levels and the teachers work with the students at the level they are at.
A second strategy was to focus on the issues. I brought this parent's focus back to the ability level of her child. I showed her work that he had done and explained what the next steps would be. I know from conversations with my boss and previous discussions with this parent that she is feeling guilty about going back to work. O'Hair and Wiemann state "[w]ith any issue, it's very important that the discussion remain centered ont he matter at hand and steer clear of any personal attacks." (2012, p 239). I tried to focus on what we were doing at school to encourage his development and gave her some strategies that she could use at home or in the car or whenever she could.
I think this conflict was more of an internal one for this parent that she made external because she doesn't know how to solve it. I think I was able to reassure her that her son will develop and will not fall behind. I hope I showed her that I am listening to her concerns and understand that she wants what's best for her son, as do I.
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
One strategy that I used to manage this meeting was empathetic listening. I tried very hard to listen to her concerns without letting my feelings that she was attacking me come to the surface. I heard her concern about what will happen next year and how the three classes seem to have different levels. I tried to reassure her about each child developing at their own pace. I explained that every class has a range of ability levels and the teachers work with the students at the level they are at.
A second strategy was to focus on the issues. I brought this parent's focus back to the ability level of her child. I showed her work that he had done and explained what the next steps would be. I know from conversations with my boss and previous discussions with this parent that she is feeling guilty about going back to work. O'Hair and Wiemann state "[w]ith any issue, it's very important that the discussion remain centered ont he matter at hand and steer clear of any personal attacks." (2012, p 239). I tried to focus on what we were doing at school to encourage his development and gave her some strategies that she could use at home or in the car or whenever she could.
I think this conflict was more of an internal one for this parent that she made external because she doesn't know how to solve it. I think I was able to reassure her that her son will develop and will not fall behind. I hope I showed her that I am listening to her concerns and understand that she wants what's best for her son, as do I.
References
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
Hi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty with this situation. Communicating with others can be a hard task especially when it's with parents that you see everyday. I use to have this attitude at the beginning of my career, but the saying practice makes perfect applies here. I think you handled the situation great and keep that up!