When I think of a time when a child made a comment about someone, the object of the comment was me. When I first moved to the Netherlands, I didn't speak any Dutch. I still tried to interact with the children of my husband's friends though. I remember one time when the 3 year old son of one friend was playing soccer with me. I said something to him in English about what a good shot he'd made. He looked at his mother and said something in Dutch. I later found out that it translated to " She makes funny noises." to which his mother replied "Just ignore it" or something similar.
The messages from this interaction are that people who speak differently don't really matter and there is no need to try to understand. When the mom told him to ignore it she was also implying that it was ok to ignore me. I don't think she meant it that way. I think she was suggesting that he keep playing and not worry that he couldn't understand me. That also gives the message that it isn't important to try to understand people who might speak differently to you.
In the video "Start seeing diversity: Race/ethnicity" (n.d.) the narrator remarks that when you don't acknowledge a difference children receive the message that there is something wrong with being different. An anti-bias educator could have used the situation described above to encourage a recognition that not everyone speaks the same way. The educator could have translated what was said and talked about other ways the child could figure out what was being said. I often use this approach in my class. When learning new vocabulary, I encourage children who are learning English to teach us that word in their home language.
References
Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Race/ethnicity [Video file].
Jennifer, what a good example of how many people don't know how to handle diversity. I'm sorry that the mother basically told her son to ignore you. If she spoke English she could have told you words in Dutch that you could have said, or translated your comment to her son. She lost an important opportunity to teach her son about differences in the way people from other countries speak. Like you said, it told him that there is something wrong with being different.
ReplyDeleteJennifer,
ReplyDeleteLanguage barriers can often affect our communication with people of other cultures, due to misinterpreting verbal and nonverbal cues (O'Hair, Wiemann, Imrich Mullin, & Teven, 2015). Thus, we must make an effort to learn the language of the native speaker so we can understand what is being said and how it is meant. In your example, the boy and his mother could have attempted to learn English so they could communicate with you better. I almost feel like she was trying to tell her son to ignore people who are different.
I remember a time when my mom and I went to the Oktober Fest in Columbus, OH, and there was a German couple selling an array of items. (The husband knew English, but the wife did not). My mom had asked her about the price of one of the things they were selling, and the woman just shrugged and asked her husband in German what my mom was asking. I thought it was great that she was attempting to learn and understand our language rather than just ignoring my mom's question. Thus, when we make an effort to learn the language and communication styles of someone else, we can become more effective communicators (O'Hair et. al., 2015).
Reference: O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Imrich Mullin, D., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication: An introduction (3rd ed.). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteIt must have been so difficult to move to a place where you didn't know the language. I commend your bravery!
Language barriers are a difficult part of overcoming biases. It is hard sometimes to find common ground and make a connection when you cannot understand what someone else is saying to you.
I currently have two students who are ESL students. One has limited English, the other has almost none. It is wonderful to see how my students try to communicate with these children--usually through gestures and pointing. They were so wonderful once I explained that the children didn't speak English and didn't understand what we were saying to them, they all jumped at the task of making these children feel a part of the class and to help them learn. If only adults could be so wonderful!
Kathy