Who am I as a communicator? (EDUC 6165)

The surveys for verbal aggression and listening styles had very few differences in my results and the results of the two people I asked to complete them. I scored as moderate in aggression and people-oriented in listening. These results show me that my attempts to be compassionate and avoid confrontation are visible to others and not just my own perceptions. What was interesting in the results was when I looked at the communication anxiety. These results were all over the place. My husband rated me at the very top of the elevated category. He doesn't often see me speak in large group situations but I talk to him a lot about my feelings. My own results also fell in the elevated category but on the bottom end. My colleague had me in the moderate category. What this tells me is that I hide my nervousness well enough that it is not noticeable.

What insights does this give me about communication? These results reinforce the importance of nonverbal communication. By showing confidence even when I'm nervous I can be a better communicator because my audience is more focussed on my message than my fear. Reading about verbal aggression also reinforces the idea that to persuade someone to my point of view I need to avoid personal attacks. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Sensible argument requires listening to both sides and presenting logical and well though out points to argue your own. Compromise and flexibility are keys to good communication.

References

 Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

How I communicate (EDUC 6165)

On a weekly basis I come in to contact with many different groups of people. I have different ways of communicating with each of them. With my family I'm informal, I joke and tease, I rant and I rave. With my colleagues I am more professional although we still have lots of laughs. With the parents of the children in my class I am more formal. I don't use as much slang and I try to use simple, clear language, especially the ones who don't speak English very well.

In the book "50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families" Gonzalez-Mena (2010) advises teachers on how to improve communication with families from different cultures. In the chapter "Understanding and appreciating cultural differences" the author writes "When something about a family's practices really bothers you, try to look at what they are doing through their eyes instead of your own." (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p 37). This made me think about my knee jerk response to some family practices. I know that this reaction sometimes causes misunderstandings when I'm talking to parents.

In the chapter "Looking at nonverbal communication across cultures" Gonzalez-Mena (2010) discusses how gestures and movements can be interpreted differently by different cultures. The author advises us to "[r]ecognize your own patterns of nonverbal behavior." (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p 81). I know that I need to be more aware of the gestures and facial expressions that I use when I speak and listen. This is especially true when I'm speaking with the children in my class as they are looking at me as a role model for English communication.

The chapter in the book "Real communication: An introduction" (2012) I read about perceptual barriers, one of which is stereotyping. This is a third area for improvement. I need to think about the person I'm talking to as an individual and not as a collection of traits and traditions. I need to make sure I understand what a specific tradition might mean to one family rather than what it means to the whole culture.

Applying the Platinum Rule will help with all three of these areas of communication. By putting myself in the shoes of the other person I can try to see things from another perspective.

References

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc. 36-38 & 80-81.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's. 42-46.

Nonverbal communication (EDUC 6165)

This was a difficult assignment for me because I completely forgot that most English language shows here have subtitles. It's very difficult not to read the subtitles which  of course give more information than just the pictures do. So then I watched a Dutch language show with no subtitles. It was a cop show similar to many that I watch in English. However the pacing is different than American shows so it took some getting used to. With the sound off it was fairly easy to determine relationships between the characters in the scene. It was much harder to connect characters from different scenes to each other. There was more than one storyline and until I heard the dialogue I couldn't connect how they related to each other. My assumptions were correct for some relationships but I couldn't make the broader connections until the sound was back. If it was a show I knew well I'd know which characters fit where, who is a regular part of the show and how they interact with each other. Without verbal cues it was hard to follow the storyline that jumped from place to place and had new sets of characters in each setting. The dialogue adds layers of meaning to the body language observed. It's important to interpret both to have a complete understanding of the communication taking place. This is also true in conversations in the real world. You can not rely on only one form of communication.

Great communicator (EDUC 6165)

Someone that I feel is a very effective communicator is a radio host and author called Stuart McLean. He hosts a program on Canada's public radio station called The Vinyl Cafe about music and life. The show is often taken on the road as well. Although I've never seen him, on the radio I imagine the rapport he has with his live audience. He tells stories throughout the show and his cadence is compelling. You want to know what happens even when nothing much is happening. He is modest and gentle when he is speaking. You feel as if he is speaking directly to you. I aspire to have the same kind of rapport with the children in my class.